Blah!

Have you ever gotten into an emotional funk? Well I've been in one for about a week now and I've felt yucky. I've been wanting to sleep all the time and everything seems exhausting or impossible and I've lacked motivation. I feel unattractive (kinda hard to when you haven't looked in the mirror once, brushing your hair happens, if you're lucky, every other day and is always in a sloppy pony tail, you smell like spit up, you're STILL in your sweat pants that you wore to bed when Andy gets home at 6:00 PM and the idea of wearing something else sounds miserable, and you can't forget the lose skin and extra baby chunk that always reminds me I haven't been keeping up with working out because I'm lazy LoL... with good reason, of course).I've decided: this attitude has GOT to stop! I'm not 17 with no responsibilities anymore! There is more to this life than being outwardly beautiful. If I'm covered head to toe in make up, awesome clothes, ect. but my insides are miserable and decaying than it's not worth it. This world has set into place a cookie cutter image of how we should look and I refuse to be brought down anymore. I've been reminded that every inch of lose skin and every stretch mark gave me my children and I'd take them any day over looking like a model. I want to portray to my kids, but especially my girls, how unimportant those physical aspects of life are and how insanely important it is to be Christ-like and "beautiful" on the inside. It sounds cliche but it's so true. Now, I have to practice what I preach. I was asked something the other day that really made me think: If your daughters came to you 25 years from now and have had 1 or 2 babies and said mom, can I still be pretty?... what would you say? I said well I love them and they'll always be beautiful to me. I felt crushed at the idea that the possibility existed that my girls could think they weren't pretty or any less than perfect .. then it hit me. Andy isn't lying or just saying those things because he's my husband. Love is more than skin deep and he loves me for me, not for what I look like. I feel so blessed to have him as my husband. My mom always has the right things to say and one quick look at emails she's sent me reminding me I'm doing a good job at being a mom, that I'm still gorgeous despite what I see... it makes me feel so refreshed and so much better. So, from this day forward, only positive thoughts! This is going to take some prayer and help from the Lord I think LoL :)